Unclogging the future....too much work

Hey everyone! Lately i have been so confused with my future, with me looking at colleges and all. Being almost a senior in high school, it seems that we have to know exactly where we are going and what we are doing with our lives. honestly i dwell too much on the past and future and not enough on the present. Being a mixture of cantor/maharat/laundress/costume designer/ dramaturg/ professional unicorn is not going to suffice for when i get older. Why is life so difficult? i really hate when people tell me "you will know" because honestly i do not know and i am afraid that i will never just "know". Why do i worry about everything? i worry about people, things, plans, the future, the past and i just cannot help any of it...especially when i am hormonal like today). but the future is a scary place and i really acknowledge the fact that the future is not going to work out the way i planned it to be. I am turning 18 soon and honestly, i am not ready to be an adult. i love life being socially acceptable to read comic books and to love kid things. once i trun 18 i feel like i wont be able to do that stuff anymore because i would have to be socially mature, and i am scared because i don't think that is really possible...knowing how i am. i love being a kid and don't want it to go away because this is a big part of my personality.if i mature, my parents will definitely love it because i am not the weird girl who watches cartoons anymore but the one who watches all of these adult things and votes and drives. I don't think i am ready yet. i am glad i have until September 19th to figure that all out
<3 Jennie