My Reaction to the JOFA Conference: Family Affair

So, I went to the JOFA conference this past weekend. (If you do not know what JOFA is, I suggest you check my Asexuality Post) What I really noticed about the whole shebang was that there were a lot of mothers and daughters, and a lot of parents with their children in general present. It is not that I did not like the absence of my parents but I felt a little bit different than everyone else. Everyone else grew up with feminism in their houses, being taught these principals since they learned how to open their eyes. For me, I grew up as a conservative Jew and was taught that I should never be orthodox because of their inequality. I went to Conservative Day Schools, pluralistic summer camp, and conservative youth group. See, the reason why I have wanted to be apart of the Orthodox Feminist community was because I did not want to sit in my conservative corner and watch all of this go down. I wanted to make a difference and fight for the things I love. I do not want to be a second class citizen. I need orthodox feminism because I want to do the things I love and let it coexist with what I believe in. Believe it or not, I feel more comfortable in a liberal Orthodox setting. I am not saying that I am an Orthodox Jew, but I am saying is that is how I want to raise my children. I want to take my children to JOFA conferences and discuss informative topics about injustice and marginalization. I want my children to have what I didn't and I will live vicariously through them, without any shred of guilt.
<3 Jennie

Asexuality in the Eyes of Society

I was at the JOFA conference today, (if you don't know what JOFA is, I suggest you click right about now ) and they had a panel on Sexuality and Judaism. This post is inspired by the panel that I experienced, mainly because they were talking about sexual experiences and being the Asexual that I am, felt a tad disconnected and uncomfortable. So, here is my view on Asexuality in Judaism, and also Asexuality in society. If you have anything you want to add, feel free to post it in the comments.
As a person who lives in a very sex centric society it seems very much common knowledge that one will have sex for recreational purposes. Being someone who just does not have the desire to do so means that not only will I have to awkwardly answer "no" to "Jennie, When was your first time?", but to "why have'nt had sex? are you waiting for the right person or something?". When I simply say that I am asexual, it makes people turn their head clockwise and ask "but don't you have a boyfriend?". Well, In regarding to that question, yes I do. See, Asexuality means lack of sexual attraction,basically, those who are asexual are not very interested in the act of sex but are more interested in romantic relationships and romantic attraction. A lot of people are under educated about asexuality because its now showing up and becoming more popular. It seems like the lack of a sexual drive is such a taboo now adays, since alot of the things we see on tv are sexualized and our culture today has so many expectations to follow. I personally do not know what it exactly says in the Talmud or in the Torah about asexuality or whether it says anything about it at all. But i know that pru orvu (being fruitful and multiplying) is very stressed on my religion. I am not saying that I will have kids, because frankly I really want them. It seems that culture is very focused on premarital sex those "first time" conversations that, scary enough, I hear from freshman in high school. Our generation has become so sex positive but i wonder about Jews in this century. is Judaism for premarital sex? Is Asexuality a good thing after all as long as one has kids? Is Judaism sex positive?  All I can say to that, is yes and no. Judaism is for sex happening for the reason of having children and not so much wasting semen which could be used on a child. Life itself is a sex centric form because of the fact that that is the ultimate reproducing method. Because premarital and protected sex has been accepted now more than ever in society, it seems that asexuality could be viewed as a choice, but it is as a choice as choosing to be gay..which it isn't a choice to be gay so yeah its not a choice.
<3 Jennie